gospel of Thomas 94

Jesus said, "He who seeks will find, and he who knocks will be let in."

A similar message has already been carried in an earlier verse in the Gospel of Thomas. And in fact, Jesus was not the first to say such words. There had already been a long tradition of this – this simple teaching – he who seeks will find. And it's true: those who seek, wholeheartedly, will find. If you seek your enlightenment, it will happen.

So Jesus is giving us encouragement with these words. But there's more to it than Jesus is letting on.

Firstly, of course, he does not say how quickly you will find, for he does not know. Nobody knows. If you seek, you will find, but it might take a nanosecond, or it might take the rest of your life; nobody can tell. The truth is so close, and yet, so difficult to reach.

But even that is not the whole story. Jesus, on the whole, was talking to simple people who needed simple messages. In the Zen tradition, the masters did not fear the paradoxical side of truth. So if a Zen master were to say something similar, it would be more like: seek, and you will find, yet seeking, you will not find. Because that which we seek is not found by seeking. Enlightenment is already there, sitting waiting. And the whole attitude of seeking has to do with wanting to gain something, wanting to improve, wanting life to be better. It comes from wanting. And that whole attitude of wanting is enough to stop enlightenment.

So the way seeking works is to exhaust us. We seek and we seek and we seek. We look everywhere, we try everything. And then, eventually, if we are lucky, we have a sort of breakdown, a collapse, where we are finally exhausted; where we realise, profoundly, that we will not find through seeking. And then the seeking stops. And what is left is enlightenment.

And yet, if we do not seek, we will not find enlightenment. The seeking is essential. So seek and you will find. But not through the seeking. Only through seeing, for yourself, in every cell of your body, that it is the seeking mentality, the craving, the wanting, that is keeping you from enlightenment. Only when you give up totally – not just as some philosophical exercise, but with every ounce of energy in your being, when you have expended it all in this search – only then will you find what you are seeking. But it comes when the seeking ceases.

But the seeking has to have been total, not partial. It's no use having this as a sideline, as a hobby, putting other things in your life first, and your spiritual seeking second: that won't do. This has to have top priority. You have to put all your energy into it, for years usually. Only then can you exhaust all the possibilities, for yourself. It's no use taking my word for it. Your mind might believe me, but the rest of your body won't feel it. The rest of your being will still be there, wanting. You have to do it yourself. You need to seek. So seek, and you will find, but only when the seeking comes to an end.

And Jesus uses a second phrase: he who knocks will be let in. Knocking is like a prayer; and that itself is an admission that the little separate self cannot achieve this on its own. We have to surrender to existence. We have to surrender to God – if you use that word. Only in that giving up, in that surrender, in that humility, will we be let in.

So seek until you are totally exhausted, and surrender to existence. Then your problems will be finished, and all the glory of existence will be laid before you. And you will live in peace, as part of this great mystery that is life.